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Tell us your story and experience with the Lord Jesus.
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Dennis A's Story
This is a portion of a testimony given in October 2022.
This testimony excerpt referred to an event in 2017 when A.D.D., anxiety and depression were the primary drains on my life.
I realized after the first year of CR (Celebrate Recovery), that the elephant in the room was no longer the struggles, it was me. When I was focusing on my struggles, I gave them power. When I focused on God and other people, my struggles faded.
Tormented for about 25 years, I’m not sure what I expected from 1 Step -Study. However, I was managing my life better. I was happier. My wife was happier. I guess answering all those CR multi-layered Step-Study questions had moved my focus off my struggles, onto my life and closer to God’s will.
Having completed my step-study, I was asked to stand before the CR group and give my testimony. At its end my conclusion was that I still struggled, but the struggles were more manageable. And I was good with that.
About three weeks after I gave my testimony, I had a thought in my head that just wouldn’t go away. “What if your struggles were a learned behavior?” “What if your struggles were a learned behavior?”
After a couple weeks of hearing this and me being me denying this thought, I finally gave in and replied, “OK, OK, my struggles are learned behaviors,” and I threw in the obvious, “SO, if they are learned, they can be unlearned!” “Now what?” And I waited.
A few weeks later there was no answer and I partnered with Ebenezer Scrooge and chalked it up to “an undigested bit of beef, …a fragment of underdone potato.” I forgot all about the learned/unlearned thing.
Months later, reality crashed around me. Job, finances, broken stuff, can’t find my car keys or wallet… anxiety supercharged with A.D.D. was overwhelming me. I was out of control. That’s when I heard a calming voice say, “relax, slow down, don’t dwell.” God’s timing is amazing!
I had pushed back on my struggles before on my own, but it was a quick fix and never lasted that long. These five words, “relax, slow down, don’t dwell,” changed my life. When I feel anxious, STOP!, and I tell myself to relax. When I start thinking too much or about past events or poor decisions, STOP! and I tell myself, “Don’t dwell,” and just slowing down makes my whole life easier. Slowing down is also my toughest push-back to remember and fulfill.
How perfect is that? Why didn’t I think or do this before? Was my heart hardened? And was this the Spirits way of letting me know that “I am with you.”
A year later I declared victory over depression.
I felt so much better that I stopped pushing back. And as the struggles came back God reminded me, … those 5 words were a command, not a request. God is a good Father.
1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” (NIV)
This testimony excerpt referred to an event in 2017 when A.D.D., anxiety and depression were the primary drains on my life.
I realized after the first year of CR (Celebrate Recovery), that the elephant in the room was no longer the struggles, it was me. When I was focusing on my struggles, I gave them power. When I focused on God and other people, my struggles faded.
Tormented for about 25 years, I’m not sure what I expected from 1 Step -Study. However, I was managing my life better. I was happier. My wife was happier. I guess answering all those CR multi-layered Step-Study questions had moved my focus off my struggles, onto my life and closer to God’s will.
Having completed my step-study, I was asked to stand before the CR group and give my testimony. At its end my conclusion was that I still struggled, but the struggles were more manageable. And I was good with that.
About three weeks after I gave my testimony, I had a thought in my head that just wouldn’t go away. “What if your struggles were a learned behavior?” “What if your struggles were a learned behavior?”
After a couple weeks of hearing this and me being me denying this thought, I finally gave in and replied, “OK, OK, my struggles are learned behaviors,” and I threw in the obvious, “SO, if they are learned, they can be unlearned!” “Now what?” And I waited.
A few weeks later there was no answer and I partnered with Ebenezer Scrooge and chalked it up to “an undigested bit of beef, …a fragment of underdone potato.” I forgot all about the learned/unlearned thing.
Months later, reality crashed around me. Job, finances, broken stuff, can’t find my car keys or wallet… anxiety supercharged with A.D.D. was overwhelming me. I was out of control. That’s when I heard a calming voice say, “relax, slow down, don’t dwell.” God’s timing is amazing!
I had pushed back on my struggles before on my own, but it was a quick fix and never lasted that long. These five words, “relax, slow down, don’t dwell,” changed my life. When I feel anxious, STOP!, and I tell myself to relax. When I start thinking too much or about past events or poor decisions, STOP! and I tell myself, “Don’t dwell,” and just slowing down makes my whole life easier. Slowing down is also my toughest push-back to remember and fulfill.
How perfect is that? Why didn’t I think or do this before? Was my heart hardened? And was this the Spirits way of letting me know that “I am with you.”
A year later I declared victory over depression.
I felt so much better that I stopped pushing back. And as the struggles came back God reminded me, … those 5 words were a command, not a request. God is a good Father.
1 Peter 5:10 “And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to His eternal glory in Christ, will Himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.” (NIV)
The Honeydew
This was the year I was going to grow melons. I read the “How-to” articles. I picked a sunny spot. I prepared the beds. I made a mound with a mix of soil and composted manure. I planted clusters of 4 to 6 seeds on each mound. I faithfully watered watermelon, cantaloupe and honeydew plots anticipating the harvest.
In the meantime, I was weeding around the yard when I stopped just short of yanking out an odd plant. It was growing in rubble in the shade of a bush, and it looked like a cucumber plant. How did it get there? Bird poop? Do birds eat cucumbers? Sorry, that’s how my mind works. I left it alone.
I watered my melon patches. And weeded them. And weeded and watered. And so forth and so on. The plants looked good but there was no fruit to speak of.
When the plants began to wither, my vast harvest consisted of a watermelon the size of a softball and a somewhat larger cantaloupe which tasted reminiscent of composted manure. No honeydews.
It was time to weed my yard again. I had forgotten completely about the cucumber. When I got to that spot, instead of cucumbers, there was a honeydew, perfectly ripe and bigger than anything I grew. (Yes, the leaves look similar!) This honeydew grew in gravel. It grew in shade. I didn’t care for it. I didn’t water it. Frankly, I didn’t know it was there. It was perfectly ripe when I found it and it was delicious.
The lesson was simple. My melon patch was all about me. Plant for the glory of God, whether it be in the garden or in the world.
1 Corinthians 3:7-9 (NIV)
7So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.
In the meantime, I was weeding around the yard when I stopped just short of yanking out an odd plant. It was growing in rubble in the shade of a bush, and it looked like a cucumber plant. How did it get there? Bird poop? Do birds eat cucumbers? Sorry, that’s how my mind works. I left it alone.
I watered my melon patches. And weeded them. And weeded and watered. And so forth and so on. The plants looked good but there was no fruit to speak of.
When the plants began to wither, my vast harvest consisted of a watermelon the size of a softball and a somewhat larger cantaloupe which tasted reminiscent of composted manure. No honeydews.
It was time to weed my yard again. I had forgotten completely about the cucumber. When I got to that spot, instead of cucumbers, there was a honeydew, perfectly ripe and bigger than anything I grew. (Yes, the leaves look similar!) This honeydew grew in gravel. It grew in shade. I didn’t care for it. I didn’t water it. Frankly, I didn’t know it was there. It was perfectly ripe when I found it and it was delicious.
The lesson was simple. My melon patch was all about me. Plant for the glory of God, whether it be in the garden or in the world.
1 Corinthians 3:7-9 (NIV)
7So neither the one who plants nor the one who waters is anything, but only God, who makes things grow. 8The one who plants and the one who waters have one purpose, and they will each be rewarded according to their own labor. 9For we are co-workers in God’s service; you are God’s field, God’s building.